Navigating Long Distance Relationships Successfully

Yes, it’s definitely possible! Not only is it possible, but it can thrive and grow exceptionally well. For the purpose of this post, a long distance relationship would include any relationship or situation that causes one spouse or partner to be away from the other. Just to put it in perspective, couples that are apart because one drives a truck and spends a long time away from home, one or both partners are in the military and may be on assignment or duty, couples who live in different states (regardless of the reason), among others.

Relationships and couples grow and thrive when each partner goes above and beyond to invest in their relationship. I once read a quote or meme that said (and I’m paraphrasing here), if the husband focuses on the happiness of the wife, and the wife focuses on the happiness of the husband, they are practically guaranteed a happy union. The idea is that each spouse or partner acts selflessly and puts the other’s happiness ahead of their own. His focus is on her and her focus is on him. Pro tip here: if you use this statement as a guide in the bedroom, you cant miss! In such a case, each will find bliss because that’s the emphasis of the other. Of course, it is pertinent to stress that this only works if both spouse does this. If it’s only being done by one, then the other’s needs and happiness will not be met and thus there would be an imbalance in the relationship.

Now that we got the introduction out of the way, let’s get down to business. What can we do to maintain, grow and enhance a long distance romance. Several things, chief among them is prioritizing the relationship. Ensure that you set a convenient time to video chat, talk on the phone, send messages and just be with each other. It definitely does not compare to being beside each other, but it’s the next best thing. Video chatting would rate highest among the suggestions listed above. Obviously because you get to see other while you talk. I thought it pertinent to mention that, because sometimes, a video chat may not be an option (trust me, I would know, sadly, from personal experience). You want to ensure that as much as is humanly possible, that this time that is set aside for each other, is spent with each other. Not while you’re doing laundry, not while you’re cooking, not while you’re running errands. Just a time for you to sit or lay down and be together. Now before you say, well those times (doing laundry, cooking and running errands) count too, let me emphasize, yes, they do! All the times you spend with each other does count. However, there must be specials times set aside when you are completely focused on each other and each other only. All the other times that you would share together while you’re busy doing other stuff does have a positive impact and add to the growth of the relationship.

If you’ll permit me to get personal for just a short while, I’ll give you some examples. Due to circumstances beyond our control (work, to be specific), my hubby and I spent the first few years of our relationship and marriage in different states. This was not easy but we made it work and work well, until I was able to move from my state to his and really enjoy each other on a daily basis. We video chat everyday! We carved out time set aside just for the two of us, as well as called each other on our lunch breaks and after work before driving home. In addition, we would video chat while we each did our errands (cooking, laundry, homework, studying, fixing the car, watching the news (I think you get the point). We also messaged each other several times each day, definitely lots of sexting included (blushing and hiding my face here) and of course, several phone calls included. We also drove back and forth between the two states whenever work permitted. I know what you’re thinking. What about mileage on the car and how many hours drive is that? All valid questions, but for us, it was well worth the time spent driving and the mileage. Plus, it helped our relationship endure the test until we ere able to live together. If you are not in a situation to drive to each other, then the other ideas are options.

Long distance relationships work because of the effort, time, persistence and value you assign to it. Never forget to celebrate the special occasions too. Birthdays, Weddings, Anniversaries, Valentine’s Day, Mother’s & Father’s Day, Just Because I Love You etc. As much as is possible, try to celebrate these occasions together. We once went to a restaurant in our different states, put our phones on a phone holder on our individual tables and had a date night (4 states away from each other).

We aren’t saying it’s easy, but for and with the right person, it’s well worth all the required extras.

If you need help planning for these special occasions, visit our website www.yolandespeaks.com and lets talk. We’d love to help. Feel free to contact us via our contact form if you need personal attention.